Love it or hate it, this show highlights the challenges that some couples face, although not usually in quite as intense and shortened period of time. Many couples were ‘forced’ into living together following the COVID lockdown in 2020. This may have led to experiencing some of the issues that the couples in this series are experiencing, such as differing opinions on things, different ways of communicating, learning each other’s love language etc.
Moving in together is significantly different than seeing each other, and then returning to your own individual home, be that with parents or your own house. Couples can struggle to find a way forward when faced with differences between them. These differences can up arise early on in a relationship, or after you have been together for some time. As we get older, our lives change and evolve. We may, or may not, have children, we may change jobs, move house to a new area, we may retire or experience ill health or loss in different ways. All these changes affect us as individuals, which in turn can impact on our relationships.
These changes can cause several challenges such as arguments, silences, rejection and so on. We often find ourselves blaming the other person because they cannot ‘see’ what they are doing wrong, or that you feel that they don’t recognise the changes. Sometimes the lines are blurred as to who is right, and who is wrong. Is there always a right and wrong? It can sometimes feel very lonely in a relationship.
Whilst there are two individuals in each couple’s relationship, there needs to be some give and take on both sides. I feel that there are three core components of a relationship being; Communication, Compromise and Acceptance.
Whilst there are two individuals in each couple’s relationship, there needs to be some give and take on both sides. I feel that there are three core components of a relationship being; Communication, Compromise and Acceptance.
In this article I wanted to focus on Communication as I feel this is the foundation for all relationships. Within the relationship, each partner needs to be aware of who they are, how they are feeling and finding a way to share those feelings with their partner. A key part is being able to express how actions and behaviours are impacting on them, in a non-confrontational way. Below are some key considerations to reflect on that may help to express what is going on for you.
- Be clear that you want to communicate
- Use “I” statements
- Don’t blame or label your partner
- Choose an appropriate time to communicate
- Take time to really listen
- Check for accuracy
- Be encouraging and supportive
- Be willing to negotiate
When we listen, we need to be listening to the emotion, to what is actually being said. Part of Communication is being able to actively listen, and to validate the feelings of each other.
Couples therapy focuses on helping clients to acquire the skills and practice with Communication, to develop and maintain affinity and rapport. Couples therapy also helps clients to acquire skills and practice to manage conflict situations that are getting out of hand.
Hopefully in #mafsuk, the experts are supporting each couple with some of the above to support them both as a couple, and individually, to ‘fast-track’ the development of their relationship within this intense period.
If you can relate to what I have shared and would like some support, I’m here – get in touch to learn more.
Also, look out for Part 2 – Compromise!